Communicating with Body Language

We are constantly communicating, even when we are not speaking. Unspoken communication makes up over half of what we tell others and they tell us. It affects our work and personal relationships. Improves negotiating, management, and interpersonal skills by correctly interpreting body language and important signals.

Learning a New Language
In many ways understanding body language is like learning a foreign language. There are a few tips that make learning any language, even a nonverbal one, easier.
• Set Goals: Make sure that your goals are realistic and have specific timelines.
• Devote time to learning: Schedule time to practice. Do not rely on spare time.
• Practice daily: Hone skills by continued practice.
• Enjoy the process: You are not in school. Relax and have fun with your new skill.

The Power of Body Language
Understanding body language does more than improve relationships. You will get insight into the thoughts and feelings of those around you. Because it is not a conscious form of communication, people betray themselves in their body language. Body language is powerful in several ways.

Power of Body Language:
• It is honest: Body language conveys truth, even when words do not.
• Creates self-awareness: Understanding body language helps you identify your own actions that hinder success.
• Understand feelings: Body language shows feelings and motive such as aggression, submission, deception, etc. Use these as cues to your communication.
• Enhance listening and communication skills: Paying attention to body language makes someone a better listener. Hear between the words spoken to what is being said.

More than Words
Much of the way people communicate is nonverbal. Body language specifically focuses on physical, not tone, or pitch. It includes the following characteristics.
Body Language:
• Proximity: The distance between people
• Positioning: Position of a body
• Facial expression: The eyes are particularly noticed.
• Touching: This includes objects, people, and themselves.
• Breathing: The rate of respiration is telling.

Actions Speak Louder than Words
Our impressions of each other are based on more than words. People can have cordial conversations and not like each other. The actions that we take are stronger than our words. For example, a person may dismiss someone using body language and not saying anything negative. Like it or not, our body language makes a lasting impression on the people around us.

What Actions Can Say:
• Deception
• Confidence
• Nerves
• Boredom
• Emotions
• Attraction
• Being open
• Being closed off
Please note that this is not an exhaustive list of what body language can communicate.

Reading Body Language
We are constantly reading the body language of others, even when we are not aware of it. Actively reading body language, however, will provide valuable insight and improve communication. Pay attention to the positions and movements of people around you. Specifically their head positions, physical gestures, and eyes.

Head Position
The head is an obvious indicator of feelings and thoughts. The position of the head speaks volumes, making it the perfect place to start. While it takes practice to accurately interpret head position, the basic positions, and movements that are not extremely difficult to identify.

Movement and Position:
• Nodding: Nodding typically indicates agreement. The speed of the nod, however, indicates different things. A slow nod can be a sign of interest or a polite, fake signal. Look to other eyes for confirmation. A fast nod signals impatience with the speaker.
• Head up: This position indicates that the person is listening without bias.
• Head down: This position indicates disinterest or rejection for what is said. When done during an activity, it signals weakness or tiredness.
• Tilted to the side: This means a person is thoughtful or vulnerable. It can signal trust.
• Head high: Holding the head high signals confidence or feelings of superiority.
• Chin up: The chin up indicates defiance or confidence.
• Head forward: Facing someone directly indicates interest. It is a positive signal.
• Tilted down: Tilting the head down signals disapproval.
• Shaking: A shaking head indicates disagreement. The faster the shaking, the stronger the disagreement.

Translating Gestures into Words
Scientific studies show that the part of the human brain that comprehends words is the same part of the brain that comprehends gestures. Gestures are also called movement clusters because it is more than a body position. We use gestures when we speak, typically hand gestures. They enhance meaning, or can be used by themselves.

• Pointing finger: This is an aggressive movement. When a wink is added, however, it is a positive confirmation of an individual.
• Finger moves side to side: This motion acts as a warning to stop something.
• Finger moves up and down: This acts as a reprimand or places emphasis on what is said.
• Thumbs up: Thumbs up is a sign of approval.
• Thumbs down: This is a sign of disapproval.
• Touch index finger to thumb: The sign indicates OK.

Open Vs. Closed Body Language
Body language is often defined as open or closed. Being open or closed has many different causes. Open body language can come from passivity, aggression, acceptance, supplication, or relaxation. Closed body language may be caused by the desire to hide, self-protection, cold, or relaxation.

Closed body language:
• Arms crossed: This stance is often defensive or hostile.
• Legs crossed when seated: Cross legs can indicate caution. One leg over the other at the knee may indicate stubbornness.
• Arm or object in front of the body: This can coincide with nervousness and is a form of self-protection.
• Legs crossed when standing: This may mean someone is insecure when combined with crossed arms. By itself, it can signal interest.

Open body language:
• Legs not crossed: This is an open, relaxed position.
• Arms not crossed: Open arms indicate openness; although the hands may indicate aggression, supplication, or insecurity, depending on their position.

The Eyes Have It
People give a great deal away through their eyes. The eyes are an important factor when reading a person’s body language. When combined with body position, the eyes will provide a more accurate translation of body language.
• Looking to the left: Eyes in this direction can mean someone is remembering something. Combined with a downward look, it indicates the self-communication. When looking up, it means facts are being recalled.
• Sideways: Looking sideways means someone is conjuring sounds. Right, is associated with imagination, and may mean a story. Left is accessing memory.
• Looking to the right: Looks to the right indicates imagination. It can mean guessing or lying. Combined with looking down, it means there is a self-question. Combined with looking up, it can mean lying.
• Direct eye contact: When speaking, this means sincerity and honesty. When listening, it indicates interest.
• Wide eyes: Widening eyes signal interest.
• Rolled eyes: Rolled eyes mean frustration. They can be considered a sign of hostility.
• Blinking: Frequent blinking indicates excitement. Infrequent blinking signals a boredom or concentration, depending focus.
• Winking: A wink is a friendly gesture or secret joke.
• Rubbing eyes: Rubbing eyes may be caused by tiredness. It can also indicate disbelief or being disturbed.

Source: Body Language Basics workshop